Ummm....

I can't recall if I've mentioned this on our blog before or not, but Ellie has been really fighting us on wanting to stand up to pee (wanting to be just like Jack). Apparently so much so that Eric finally sat her down the other night and tried to explain the phenomenon of girls and boys having different "parts," and that because her "part" is different she has to SIT on the potty to go pee-pee. Not knowing this, it took me FOREVER to figure out what she was saying the other night while she was going potty, but I finally realized she was saying the V word. (I am not uncomfortable with these words but my friend Kim will pass out for all eternity if she reads those words so I will refrain. For Kim's sake. If she still reads my blog. Does anyone still read my blog? I digress.)

The thing is, the V word came out of Ellie's mouth sounding like "Jonah," which just so happens to be Jack's favorite Veggie Tales movie. So he overheard us talking about what SOUNDED like "Jonah" and came running into the bathroom to see what we were talking about. So then I'm standing there wondering how far to go with this discussion, when Jack starts to point to himself, down there, and saying what sounded like, "Jonah." I just couldn't help myself.

Me: "No honey, you don't have a V. You have a P."

Ellie: "Jack no Jonah. Jack have PEE-nisp."

Jack: "No, no! I have Jonah, too! Mommy, mommy, look, I have Jonah, too!"

Me: "No sweetie...girls like Mommy and Samantha and Ellie are different from boys like you and Daddy. God made us different, isn't that cool?"

Ellie: "Yeah."

Jack: "NOOOO!"

Awkward silence.

Jack: (pulls down pants and looks between his legs) "LOOK!!! My JONAH!!!!"

I laughed so hard that I think he got upset and I felt like the worst mother ever. Then I found myself uttering words I never dreamed of to my three-year-old son,

Me: "Okay, honey. You have a V too."

Jack: (through tears) "Thank you really much, Mommy."

I have no idea if I did the right thing or the wrong thing, but man...I had to get this one down on paper! (I mean, on a server somewhere?)

So far I don't have the best track record with these discussions...it will be interesting (terrifying?) to see how I do when the "How can I be part of you and part of daddy" questions come 'round. Yikes.

Durbin Family Check-In

SAMANTHA: practically perfect in every way; now has two roommates under the age of four that she's learning to sleep with.
ELLIE: pink eye, pink eye, and more pink eye; top molars coming in.
JACK: pink eye and sinus infection, missed school all week.
ANNIKA: emergency root canal on Tuesday; Unwilling Administrator of pink eye medicine; exhausted mother.
ERIC: missed two mornings of work for poor wife with toothache; Body Holder for pink eye medicine distribution; has somehow avoided getting neither a cold NOR an infected tooth (despite his lack of flossing, which really annoys wife).

Happy Wednesday from the Durbins!

I wonder if God ever feels like crying

Today was a really frustrating day. I found myself short with the kids and easily exasperated. Granted, I am still low on sleep these days, and the kids (and Eric) are sick and so once again we are up multiple times during the night. So I know that being tired and exhausted is a set-up for being short-tempered and impatient.

But what really got to me today was the exhaustion of teaching my kids...and their seeming unwillingness...inability...to learn. How many times will it take before my kids learn that it's not okay to hit each other? Or push their sister down? Or to come when I call them? Or to ask politely for something rather than just demanding it? How many spankings later will it dawn on them...Oh, so THIS is what Mom meant about not hitting...

Grrrr. As the annoyed attitude set in and the thought, "I'm so tired of saying this only to have them do it again" crossed my mind, I just wanted to scream with frustration. I feel like the mom in all the Dobson books who can be seen escalating in her volume and irritation and who finally blows her top and, yelling not-thought-out things at her kids, sends the snickering, unfazed kids to their rooms... It's so easy to see the fault in the situation when reading it in the parenting book. I can spot her errors and see where she went wrong. But when it's me? Not so easy...I find myself having to step back or walk away, collect myself, reexamine the situation and cool down...and often I have to look at my child's behavior and attempt to trace it back to an earlier incident (no nap, not enough attention from me, poor lunch, disappointment over being told no, etc.) and take that into account for their current behavior.

But sometimes...I just can't figure them out. For example, Jack has been really pushy with Samantha lately. He will NOT share his toys with her at all, in fact he is really bothered if she has ANY toy besides her baby toys. So when it's just the two of them awake, he drives me crazy by taking everything away from her that she tries to play with. In addition to that, he likes to push her down when she pulls up on the couch. I don't know if it's some kind of jealousy issue, or if he's just learning to play with a baby again, but I feel like all I've said to him the past few days is, "Do not push your sister down. Please don't take toys away from Samantha." We talk about how it might hurt her, or how it's not very kind to take toys away from someone else while they're playing, etc. But then he's back to his antics shortly after.

These parenting frustrations remind me that I am so very human, when I get exhausted with this repetitive misbehavior and I just want to quit. Or apply for a mental health day. I'm so thankful that God doesn't quit on me or lose his cool or get so exasperated that he yells at me unkindly when I repeatedly disobey, and don't learn my lessons as quick as I wish I did. How I need his gracious patience these days!

We're also going a bit stir-crazy in our house these winter days. I can't always let Jack play with the toys or puzzles that he wants to because of the small pieces that are a hazard to Samantha. And I can't always let him and Ellie do the same craft project because Ellie will paint herself, the walls, the piano, and her baby sister before she'll paint on paper. In fact, I tried to let them paint the other day and Ellie twice took the bowl of rinsing water and poured it onto her painting pad.

Ellie is a whole other issue, probably worth another entire post. Boy, does this child have a strong will! Lately we are working on speaking respectfully to Mommy and Daddy...she is really pushing the limits. When I tell her that it's time for her nap (after usually giving her some warning a few minutes before) she says in her most sassy voice, "NO, Mommy: TWO MINUTES." Ooooooh. And when I remind her that she needs to obey, she still has that drag-my-feet-like-molasses syndrome going. I feel strongly that it is important to teach respect at this point...not to let her disrespectful treatment of me and Eric go or to laugh it off (although there are days it's hard not to laugh...other days like today, I want to cry!). But we didn't deal with this type of disrespect with Jack; he would disobey, yes, and had a stubbornness in him, yes, but not this level that we're seeing come out in Ellie! Holy cow.

Do you ever just feel like you second-guess yourself all day long? Some days I feel outnumbered by my kids and their developmental needs...and knowing the right thing for each one. I know that I'm not perfect--and no one is, duh--but I want to do an excellent job at this motherhood thing and, well, today was really hard.

One fantastic thing about my day: surprise visit from SK and family on their way home from Mexico! I have cute pictures of the kids with Sophia that I'll have to post later...nap time is over!

Happy Weekend!

I AM SO PROUD

Jack wrote his name for the very first time last night! He's been able to write a "J" for awhile now, and then last night he suddenly wrote an "A" and then a "C" without any help. But he kept writing "J-A-C-A," so we worked on the "K" for awhile and he finally got it! I was so excited, and he was THRILLED. We then proceeded to write out the entire alphabet; I was sure he would get bored and want to stop but he just kept going. When we got to "W" he said to Eric, "Almost done, Daddy!" After we wrote our "Z" a few times, which took some time, he said, "Letters so fun, Mommy!"

I am not one of those moms that has been banging this over his head, but he has become more and more fascinated with it recently. And I admit...the teacher side of me was even more excited than the mom side. I started to day dream about getting him one of those little drawing books with the letters at the top of the page, and then I suddenly stopped. He's only three and half, for crying out loud.

From the summer

We'll be back soon...

Oh, my. Am I ever having technical difficulties! As evidenced by the post below, I'm trying to get my pictures to post through Flickr, which I've been assured (by many a well-meaning friend) is an easy process. But so far I am not doing so well! Hang tight with us as we get things sorted out...one of these days I'll get Christmas pictures up, as well as bunch of blog-worthy pictures I've been collecting for awhile.

Hello again

Well, Merry Christmas, Happy New Years, Happy Valentines Day...what month are we in?

Life has swept us into a whirlwind of family visits and holiday busyness and alas, the blog has once again been neglected. Not forgotten, just put low on our (my) priority list.

But we're back! And we have a large backlog of pictures waiting to be posted, so hopefully I can get to that in a few days. I have been kept very occupied with photography work this past month or two, which as been good for us financially but really hard on our schedules. I have been working almost every night, and the nights I don't work on photography I teach piano lessons. Eric has been working extra shifts on Saturdays, and we feel like the old cliche about ships passing in the night...

Eric's Dad and Connie visited in early December; we had a great weekend with them, including a wonderful dinner out at Houlihans (without kids!), Christmas tree shopping and decorating, photography help from Marc, lots of good conversation...it was so good to see them again, and the kids often point out Papa Marc and Grandma Connie in their picture on the fridge. Their Christmas present to us was a membership to the children's museum here and we are so excited to put our passes to good use! It is a fantastic museum full of hands-on activities, and Jack and Ellie are finally at ages where they will be totally enthralled by it. We were planning to go last week until the girls got sick...hopefully soon!

A day after they left my sister and Jonathan arrived with Mikaila and Soli; they were here for two weeks, in which we packed all kinds of interesting and fun activities, including deep-dish pizza downtown Chicago, cookie baking and decorating, looking at the story windows at Macy's in the freezing cold, riding the kids' train at the mall (even Soli, although he fell off the seat at the very end and bonked his head pretty hard), Christmas Eve together at church, wrapping presents for the kids, late-night talks, movie night, a wonderful Christmas day together, delicious ham dinner, sledding, and general merriment. The kids had such a good time together, once we worked out a few sharing and "being gentle" issues... They had great fun and it was so moving to me to see all the grandkids enjoying each other's company.

After their visit, Ellie and Samantha got sick (double ear infection and bacterial infection) so we've been a bit out of it for the past few weeks. As the rest of society gets back into the swing of things this week...we are trying!

(I had some pictures to upload with this post but blogger is "not responding" to my "request" so I guess we'll have to try later.)

Hope you are having a good Wednesday wherever this finds you, and that your caffeine-withdrawl headache is not as bad as mine.

Pure three-year-old genius

A few nights ago Jack threw a massive tantrum at the arrival of a cheese quesadilla on his dinner plate instead of the cheese sandwich he had been hoping for. He knew that a special ice cream treat followed dinner, and seeing as how he was not about to eat this dinner, well...you could see the wheels rolling in his head. Thrashing and screaming and kicking and stiffening...he brought out the works. He had a few time outs in his room to calm down, but each were followed by fairly quick retreats back into tantrum posture upon seeing that the quesadilla was still sitting on his plate. We were, as usual, busy with the other kids and so we let him roll around on the floor for awhile. Suddenly I realized he had stopped crying and was walking toward me carrying pieces of his quesadilla. He handed me a piece with a sweet, "Here Mommy" and then handed one to Eric. Then he announced, "Okay, people? Eat the dinner." Eric and I tried to stiffle our explosive laughter at his manipulative skills & creative out-sourcing plan for his dinner...but then reminded him that HE had to eat his own dinner...and he then took his tantrumming to new levels of screaming. We ended up putting him to bed without dinner, and as we were walking out we heard him say, "Okay (the way he prefaces so many comments these days): next time? Eat the cheese sandwich."

My other favorite comments from this week:

MOM: "Jack, it's time for bed."

JACK: "Um, no thank you bedtime!"

AND

JACK: "Ellie, it's time for nap!" (which he looks forward to so he can do special things with mommy like bake cookies and play outside in the snow)

MOM: "Jackson, I am the mommy. You don't tell Ellie what to do."

JACK: "Okay, Mommy. You say, "Ellie, take a nap!""

And while we're at it...my current favorite Ellie phrases:

"tink-oo" (thank you)
"dee-beckum" (you're welcome)
"DaDa bake up!" (Samantha wake up)
"Deddie Tay-ohs" (veggie tales)
"brock-ery" (broccoli)
"tucker" (sucker)
"teekee boppers" (fishy crackers)
"Ah-llie" (Ellie) (she pronounces her name better at 2 than Jack does at 3 1/2; he still calls her "Eh-yee"!

I love these stages of language development!

So I'll just tag on here, since I never know when I'll have more time to blog...Samantha is army-crawling, almost sitting up by herself, laughing, eating solid foods, and got her first tooth on Thanksgiving day! What a big girl. We also have somehow skipped right over the 3-6 months clothing size...she was 0-3 for almost 6 months and now is almost entirely in 6-9 or 6-12! Strange. We are loving this stage with her except that she is DYING to get out of our arms, even though she can't really go anywhere, but she lunges all over the place. She's a hard one to hold still these days.

We have been crazy-busy this past week (I had four photo shoots) so we took a family day yesterday; spent the morning at the Arboretum hiking in the snowfall--so beautiful. Enjoyed a model train display, and then had lunch together as a family. What a relaxing day and a wonderful way to end the Thanksgiving Break--so thankful. We hope you all had a wonderful celebration, too.

Oh--I CANNOT sign off without letting you all (whoever even keeps up with us anymore!) know that we got a settlement for our luggage loss! We are VERY thankful for that, and I now have some new shoes and a few new shirts and fleeces, and Eric got TWO new suits at a buy one/get one sale! We are so thankful to have that all resolved and to be able to replace a few of the things we lost and get a few things we've been needing.

And now...I'm off to bed! Happy Tuesday.

Guess Who's 2?

Elisabeth Kate - 2 years old

Happy Second Birthday, Baby Girl.

"Ticker Tweet!" 2008

At Jack's preschool parade; he grabbed Ellie's hand as he walked by and said, "Come on, Ellie!"

Where, oh where, have the Durbins gone?

October has been a B-U-S-Y month for us. Eric has been adjusting well to his new job, but is keeping a very full schedule. I'm teaching piano lessons a couple nights a week, and he's working part time on the weekends so we're like ships passing in the night.
Samantha was baptized a couple weeks ago at our church (seen in the pictures here). It was a beautiful ceremony and a moving reminder of how precious and important the body of Christ is in our lives and the lives of our children. We love our church!
Jack is enjoying school SO much. He had his first field trip to a local farm a few weeks ago, and I had my first "room mom" experience to help the kids make applesauce. We also went last week for his Halloween parade (pictures to come) and I saw enough Thomas'/Disney Princess' to last me a lifetime. We love his teachers and have been so thankful for this school! He is growing so much verbally, emotionally (is really fascinated with being "scared" these days, no thanks to all the TOTALLY FREAKY Halloween decorations around town this month), and even physically--he's one of the tallest kids in his class! My favorite phrases of his right now are: "I can't like it, Mommy!" (when he doesn't like something) "What's going on here, guys?" and "It's too bright in here; we need more ice cream!" He's currently recovering from a stomach virus he picked up this week, poor kid.
Ellie is growing like a weed, too. The three main themes of her life right now are: 1. Be JUST like Jack, 2. Do EVERYTHING myself, 3. Say no as many times and as sassy as I can to see how mommy and daddy react. It's very sweet to see her and Jack's relationship blossoming. And speaking of doing things herself...she also potty-trained herself this month. You read that right. One day she took off her diaper, said, "Mommy, potty," ran in there, got the potty seat put on the potty, climbed up, and PEED. Then got down, flushed, and ran on her merry way. No M&M's, no coaching, no over-the-top affirmation...just did her business and went back to playing. I was astounded how easy it has been. She's still in between...but she's almost completely trained. She still will not let us help her at ALL--with any step of the process. It's hilarious to watch after it being such a big process with Jack. Our favorite phrases of hers these days are: "teekee boppers" (fishy crackers), "chickens" (anything chicken related, and ALWAYS plural), and "ticker-teet" (take a guess what that means!).

Samantha is.....the best baby ever! She's very content most of the time...is drooling like crazy so we are changing her entire outfits 3-4 times a day because they are soaked, even through bibs. She has no teeth yet, but I look every day to see if there are any emerging yet! She's pretty much sleeping through the night, with one early morning feeding. She is very sweet, loves her brother and sister SO much, and is a little peanut (she's still in 0-3 months clothes!).

Last but not least...the thing that has been keeping me the most busy and probably the sole reason for blog negligence this month...can be found here: www.annikadurbinphotography.com. This has come together in amazing ways this past month, and we are trusting God to bring me business as a way to "help out" the family pot. I am also so thankful to have something to do that not only brings in money, but is something that I enjoy and look forward to. Last week during one of my shoots the mom was telling me how much she appreciated me coming out when I had three little ones at home. I looked at her and said, "Seriously? Thank YOU. I get a break from my three little ones, get to be outside in the beautiful fall weather doing something I enjoy, AND making some money." What a gift! So book your session soon, if you are in the area, as November slots are already filling up! (What's a blog good for if I can't put in a little plug for the family business?)

Super-cute Halloween pics to come!

It's my duty, as a blogging mom

Due to the nature of so many of my Overwhelmed-and-Outnumbered Mom Rants, I felt I owed it to our family blog to write about nights like tonight, as they are rare but DO exist.

Tonight I was on "combat duty" all by myself (Eric was at class), so I had been gearing up for a rather tough evening.  But there's something about knowing all day that I'm going to be flying solo come bedtime that helps me prepare mentally and emotionally for what lies ahead, so I was hopeful.  

Now, you may think I'm being overly dramatic to refer to the bedtime hour (what we call "magic hour") in such a way.  But PEOPLE.  Have you ever put three kids under three to bed at the same time?  It's enough to make you want to rip your hair out.  Every last one.

Oftentimes both Eric and I head into the bedtime routine in great moods, full of energy, with a full agenda for post-bedtime.  But something happens in that half hour to forty-five minutes that so often spits both of us out of the kids' room exhausted, irritated, and just plain worn down.  So facing magic hour by myself takes some serious mind preparation.  

But then there are nights like tonight.  Nights when the kids obey so well when asked to help put away the bazillion toys spread all around the living room.  (They even sweetly sang the clean up song together while they dumped their trains into the bin.)  Nights when I don't have to chase or wrestle anyone into their jammies, or hold anyone down on the floor to brush their teeth (not really, but some days it seems like it!).  Nights when for whatever reason all three kids have very cheery, calm, sweet dispositions that make getting ready for bed such a joy.

Then tonight we had an unexpected interruption: Grandma needed a ride to Papa's concert.  So we put on our shoes and got on our hoodies (yes, Fall is creeping near), got a special treat of chocolate milk in our sippies to take in the car, and headed outside.  The kids were so tickled to be outside in their jammies in the dark!  They chased each other around the driveway a few times, giggling as they went.  Then they piled into the car without complaint (a miracle) and off we went.  Jack kept saying, "Okay, Mommy, go on a trip!"  When we crossed the train tracks Jack said, "Way to go, Mommy!"  We arrived at Grandma's house amidst excited squeals and shout-outs to "Mama" (what Ellie calls my mom).  All the way over to the college Jack kept giggling and saying, "Mommy, da trip SO FUN!"  (Boy, takes so little to please this kid, huh?)

After dropping Grandma off and waving to Papa, we headed towards home.  But on the way we passed the college soccer field, where they were practicing with all the stadium lights on, and I couldn't help stopping to let the kids watch out the car windows.  They ooed and ahhed over and over excitedly.  Samantha couldn't see anything, but she was back there cooing as well.  At last we said goodbye to the soccer field and went on our way.

THEN, much to my delight, I discovered I had enough change in the car to get a small latte, so we took a little detour to Starbucks.  When we pulled into the drive Jack said, "Yay, cop-pee for Mommy!"  (HEY.  Gimme a break...I don't get coffee THAT often, I don't know why he was so excited about it.)  It was delicious and soothing (and full of caffeine!), a perfect addition to an already swell evening so far.  As we finally headed home, Jack began pointing out the airplanes and stars in the sky, which then prompted Ellie, who had been quiet for some time, to burst into a rousing rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" that went something like this:

(sung at the top of her lungs)

"Dee-doh, dee-doh deet deet tar

How I want you are

Uppah-bub da high

Yike-ah die-mon in-a sky

Dee-doh, dee-doh deet deet tar

How I want you are."

(she used to sing, "how I what what what you are"; cracked me up every time!)

(Katie, how about that for a business name: "How I Want"??  Haha...)

Then she started up again, with Jack chiming in with his own rendition, also sung at the top of his lungs:

"Twinko, twink0 yi-deh stawr,

How I wonder what you awr,

Up above da word so high,

Yike a diamond in da sky

Twink0, twinko yi-deh stawr,

How I wonder what you awr."

(My spell check is going nuts.)

Ah, the sweet off-key sound of my babies singing together.  Makes my heart ache just a little, that so-full-of-joy-and-contentment-it-hurts ache.  

When we got home I reminded them that it was time for bed and we were going to go in and go straight to their room.  I carried a barefoot Ellie in, and went back to get Samantha.  When I finally made it inside they both had their coats and shoes off, and Jack had collected all the necessary bedtime friends and blankies and was sweetly passing them out.  We filed one after the other back to their room, and they both climbed into beds all by themselves (Ellie's figured out how to climb into her crib but not out of it yet.  Keeping fingers crossed on that one.) and we turned out the light.  There was no crying, no begging for water, no pleas to go potty again.  Then we sang our nightly anthem of Jesus Loves Me (the kids' version: Jesus Wuves Me), prayed, kissed, and I walked out with Samantha in my arms. I went in to my room, nursed her, laid her down, and they've all been quiet ever since!  

These evenings are great, friends.  These are nights that feel like little gifts plunked in between the really hard ones.  These are nights I love being a mom.  L-O-V-E it.  I so enjoy each moment, each little conversation, each mispronounced word and out of tune song.  I love coming out of bedtime smiling at the thought of their sweet night-night kisses and their "I wuve yous" as I left the room.  After all were down I came into the living room, looking for their shoes and coats to hang up.  I looked around and then noticed that Jack's hoodie was hanging on his little hook by the door, his shoes sloppily set on the shelf, next to one of Ellie's shoes (the other of which is on the floor beneath the shelf where she most likely gave up trying or got distracted), and her hoodie hanging by a thread with both arms inside out (she tries so hard, bless her heart!).  (Insert heart swelling and fond sighs.)

These nights I shake my head at how enjoyable and effortless the whole evening seemed.  It even made me wonder why other nights are so hard.  Is it me?  Is it the kids?  Probably a little of both.  But tonight, I relish this night.  I should probably go do dishes or laundry or sweep the floor, but I think I'll wait a bit.  These are nights worth savoring.  

Well, my reheated-in-the-microwave latte is calling to me...and the garage door is opening signaling my husband's arrival home, so I'll sign off.  I hope wherever you are, you are having as lovely an evening.  

First Day

(Our first-ever First Day of School photo!)

Yes, today was Jack's first day of preschool.  He was SO excited.  Almost hyper, even.  Everything he talked about this morning had the word "school" in there somewhere.  He was beside himself when we got in the car, kept saying his teacher's name and talking about his new bag and telling Ellie about "Jack's school."  It was great.

I told my mom yesterday that a number of my friends have recently sent their kids to school for the first time, and that it was a very emotional experience for them.  I got choked up reading their accounts of sending the kids off, about how time flies, and could they really be ready for school?  But for some reason I have not been emotional at all about Jack going to school.  I surmised that it was due to the fact that I've been a teacher, I've been the one receiving the kids from teary-eyed parents, assuring them we'd have a great time.  I know what goes on during the day, I have an idea of what Jack will be doing, and I have been so excited for him to be able to enter into one of my most favorite arenas: the classroom!  Plus, my mom taught preschool for eleven years and I often helped her, so it thrills me in a nostalgic way for him to be headed off into this new world.

 

(This is what they gave me when I told them to smile.)

As we pulled into the parking lot today he shouted, "SCHOOL!  There it is, Mommy!" and chattered on and on while we waited in the drop off line.  When his teacher opened the car door he yelled, "Brinley!" (we're still working on "Mrs") and began a long string of mosty unintelligible chit-chat about his bag and his sisters and school.  He hardly even turned around to say goodbye, he was so excited.  The teacher laughed and said she'd never seen a child so enthusiastic about his first day! 

As I started to pull away Ellie began crying and saying, "Me!  Me!  Mommy, Me!!"  I felt so bad.  I told her we would go get a little treat just for Mommy and Ellie, and that contented her.

And then it happened.  I noticed the empty seat in the back of the car.  And I started to cry.  And I couldn't stop.  I did NOT see this coming!

(Jack getting silly)

I took my girls to Starbucks and nursed a Double Non-fat Toffee Nut Latte WITH WHIP (so much for non-fat!) for awhile and it helped.  Then we popped in Trader Joe's for a few grocery items; I immediately noticed that the majority of shoppers were moms with toddlers!  Must be magic hour.  I don't get out much in the mornings so I found this slightly amusing.  Ellie got an apple fruit bar, which she promptly inhaled, and pink balloon (to match her outfit) at the checkout and she was a happy camper.

The morning passed fairly quickly and it was time to pick him up.  When we pulled up to the door I heard him yell, "MOMMY!!" and all the teachers standing there laughed.  He was a huge ball of energy and could not stop babbling loudly in the car.  He was talking so quickly I couldn't make it all out but I got the general idea: "Mommy!  School!  So fun! Play trains!  Wash hands!  Mommy, playground!  Mommy, snack at the table!  Mommy (suddenly increasing in volume)--HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUPCAKE!  Yay!!!!  Mommy, have juice!  (throw in totally fake belly laugh) SO FUN, Mommy!" 

I couldn't get a word in the whole ride home.  He has been hyper (thanks to Joe's birthday cupcakes, no doubt) and about three volumes louder since arriving home.  When Daddy came home from work Jack excitedly repeated his school highlights, complete with fake laugh.

Sigh.  Another milestone.  I'm so thankful that it was a good experience and that he (and I) survived the morning.  I am done with my tears and look forward to Thursday morning--maybe I'll actually be able to get something done! 

(Totally unsolicited sweetness!)

Happy First Day of School, Baby Jack.  I love you.

Jack couldn't look more bored in this picture, don't you think?

This is from a shoot I did of the kids a few weeks ago but haven't had time to weed through all the pictures yet...which seems to be a theme in my life right now: not enough time.

Once again I am very, very behind on blog writing.  I have a stash of blog entries going on in my head, which kind of amuses me at times; I roll my eyes at myself for having an imaginary blog, where the posts that I write in my head while doing dishes or nursing or cleaning up toys get posted but read by no one.  Sad, really.  But I also wondered recently what my life would be like if I didn't have a blog, if I didn't have a place to document our family life, like potty training and lost luggage (which, by the way, is still lost), birth accounts and foreign travel, motherhood mishaps and childhood milestones.  Would I feel less burden for having to record these significant events?  Who even cares?  

On the one hand, I view blogging as kind of a year-round family newsletter, a way of keeping in touch with friends on a more regular basis.  So that makes me feel like I should be making time to sit down and "report" on such things as Eric's new job or Jack going to school, for all of you who care and want to know.  So perhaps my blog is like one big mass email.

On the other hand...there may be a good reason people send out yearly newsletters at Christmas time: because there is no expectation for detailed accounts of all the year's events, so instead you end up with nicely (or so you hope) summed up highlights and significant happenings, making you feel like you're caught up on that family's life and are still "in touch."

But...with blogging there also seems to be some community and interaction, with the comments and blog-hopping that goes on.  And for people who really care, like grandparents and close friends, blogging provides instant access to pictures of grandkids doing everyday things, allowing us to get to know each other's kids and families fairly well.  

However...I'm not sure how I feel about so many people knowing so much about my family!  It's very odd when I see someone that I hardly know and they tell me how much they love my blog, and I'm like, "I'm sorry what was your name again?  And how did you find my blog?  (i.e. which friend-of-a-friend sent you here)"  When I post or write things I usually have a certain audience in mind, like my closest girlfriends and a few members of our extended family.  But recently my former youth pastor (hi Vince!) told me he enjoyed my post on potty training and I thought to myself, "Whoa.  How many times did I use the word poop in that post?  How many other people read that post?"  

Anyhow...I know this post is borderline going-nowhere, but it's stemming from waaaaay too many thoughts about blogging and those imaginary posts I mentioned above and the guilt I've felt at being so behind at posting...and it's also almost 11:30pm so I think now I'm just rambling.  And everyone is asleep so nothing is tearing me away from blogging at this point.  So I could go on .  And on.  But I won't.

We have had an eventful last few weeks, with the highlights being Eric starting his new job, Jack starting preschool, and Eric's 28th birthday, to name a few.  I will try to report on them in Christmas letter-like fashion here:

--Eric's job: He was hired as the Administrative Assistant to the Vice Provost at the college here.  I still don't know exactly what that means, and I'm not sure he does either, and I'm not even sure the people who hired him know what it means for that matter!  The position is a slightly altered version of its previous one, so it's got a learning curve to it for sure.  It's been interesting for Eric to go from working security for so many years, and seeing one side of the college, and then to jump all the way to the President's office and be in such a different environment.  Good, but different.  He is generally enjoying it and we are grateful for the regular hours.  He is taking a Dale Carnegie course one night a week and also working some overtime at security, and I am teaching piano lessons one or two nights a week so we are busy.  But very, very thankful for this new position.  (By the way, for those of you who are regular readers...this job opportunity came up the day after my night-time "encouragement" from the Lord that I wrote about a few weeks ago, when I felt His assurance that He was holding us so close to Himself!)

--Jack's Preschool: Jack officially starts this Tuesday at a church preschool for 3's that meets two mornings a week.  I have watched several friends of mine send their kids to school for the first time this year, and all the accompanying emotions, and as I read/heard about their experiences I got teary-eyed and weepy and emotional.  But when it came time for Jack, I was just...excited.  I told Eric that I felt bad that I haven't been more sentimental about my baby going to school, but I think that it's because I've been a teacher, and I've BEEN in school with kids, and I (generally) know what happens while they're away from mom and dad, and I'm just so excited for Jack to get to experience that!  My mom taught preschool for a very long time so I am thrilled to see how he does and how much he loves it.  We had orientation last week and while it was a bit surreal, I am so touched by the ministry of these loving teachers and am so thankful that he will be in such a nurturing environment.  He was smitten with the train table...that's all he talks about when we ask about "Jack's school."  He was very excited the day we went for our visit, kept talking about Jack's school all morning, and while we were there he kept pointing at things and saying, "Mommy, Jack's trains!  Mommy, Jack's blocks!  Mommy, Jack's books!" as if just because this was "Jack's School" that meant everything in it was also his.  So sweet.  He did have a little freak out about snack time, as he didn't like the snack (I know, big surprise).  We'll see how he does without me around.

And finally (see, I am just not cut out for Christmas-letter-highlight style updates!!)

--Eric's birthday: we got to celebrate twice this past week; once with our good friends Brandon and Amy (dinner out!) and again tonight with Sarah Kay and Nate and little Sophia who were in from out of town.  (Jack and Sophia went NUTS over each other and were laughing hysterically at each other most of the time.  So wonderful and weird to watch our children play together!)  Happy Birthday honey!

Those are the significant events from the past few weeks, for those of you that are keeping up.  That's all I have the energy for tonight.  Perhaps in another few weeks I can think of something more creative to write about.  For now...goodnight, friends! 

Before you pass out: this is NOT my belly!

My friend Nancy was due almost two weeks ago with her baby boy, but apparently he's nice and snug and not in a hurry to come out...so we were able to get some pregnancy shots last night, just in time for her to be induced this morning!  Talk about last minute.  This was one of my favorite shots.

You Know You're Tired When...

Earlier this morning I was changing the kids from pj's to play clothes when a Don't blame me, I only got three hours of sleep last night total-moment occurred.  I retrieved clothes from their drawers and then proceeded to undress Ellie from her syrup-covered jammies.  As I began to dress her she kept saying loudly, "Mommy, Dak dirt!!  Mommy!!  Dak dirt!"  I wasn't really paying much attention until she got really loud and in my face.  I squatted down in front of her, frowning, trying to figure out what she was saying.  Suddenly all the pieces came together in my fog-brain: I had dressed her in "Dak's dirt," i.e. Jack's shirt!

This post is full of self-pity. But it's short.

We still don't have our missing luggage!  

The airlines has called every day to "check in" with us on the "status" of our bag (um, hello: STILL LOST); it's driving me crazy because each time they have called they ask for more "specific information" about the contents of the bag.  When they called again tonight I felt like saying, "So let me see if I understand correctly.  You have found a large black suitcase with a light blue Pottery Barn Kids blanket in the front pocket along with a birth certificate for Elisabeth Durbin; inside there are a pair of men's Doc Marten sandals and black dress shoes and black belt, a girl's pair of pink sandals with flowers, boys' brown sandals, a grey GAP sports coat, men's khaki pants, a small black make-up bag with pink writing on the outside (full of make-up), a black toiletry bag containing a hair brush, an expensive electric toothbrush, contacts, toothpaste, hair product, and deodorant; a bunch of Huggies diapers size 6 and Pampers size 1, lots of children's and baby clothing; a black woman's hoodie, two children's swimsuits, and women's khaki pants and red zip-up sweater...and you want to know MORE SPECIFIC ITEMS to be sure that you have the right bag?????"

I'm starting to think they've lost our bag for good.

Ugh.  This sucks.  Poor me.  (See? Self-pity.)  

*Addendum: SK, it's not the make-up that kills me, but that's because I'm so cheap about make-up that I just buy the Maybelline "black" mascara and I'm good to go.  (Which I did this morning, walked with all three kids to CVS, to get make-up because we have a work dinner tonight.)  No, it's the clothes that kill me.  For starters, everyone knows when you go on a trip--especially for one day--to see friends you haven't seen in awhile and to meet Grandpa, you don't pack your "play clothes."  So some of my favorite outfits of the kids' are in there, especially a little sundress for Ellie and her cute little blue swimsuit, and Jack's Cubs t-shirt, and a darling little (Gymoboree!) outfit for Samantha that was a gift from a friend.  And a really nice grey sports coat of Eric's that is very versatile and he wears all the time...not to mention his black shoes that also go with everything (poor guy--not much of his wardrobe goes with his brown shoes, so he's had to be VERY creative this week!).

But selfishly, it's MY clothes that are really getting to me...  Any mom knows how hard it is to find well-fitting clothes during and especially after pregnancy...sometimes you wear maternity for a little while afterward, sometimes the lucky few fit into normal clothes again pretty soon.  I'm at an in-between period where some of my shirts are maternity still and some are regular, same with pants.  So both pairs of pants I took this weekend were my absolute favorite--one a pair of khaki maternity that still fits and looks good worn after pregnancy--and my only khaki pair!  The other was a gift from my dad, that I JUST GOT, a black pair that fit me perfectly and are SO comfy and go with almost all my shirts.  And then just last week I had finally gone and bought some new shirts for myself and found exactly what I needed and they all FIT (a miracle!) and mix and match well and I was so thankful...all of that, gone.  Sigh.

I know there are more important things in the world, but it's so frustrating when I can't afford to go out and replace all this.  So now, instead of being down the new clothes, I'm also down some of the old, and people, you don't want me to wear my black and grey yoga pants all the time.  Believe me.  Do you think they'll let me wear jeans to church?  Cause that's what I've got left.  Jeans and yoga pants, and some very old (i.e. from Jack) maternity shirts.  (Don't worry, SK, I didn't lose any of your stuff!!)

I'm also unsure what to do about Jack's blankie.  It's been his special blankie since he was little, and he is really missing it.  Every morning when Eric leaves Jack says, "Daddy go find Jack's blankie on airplane?"  :( :( :(  Today he was watching a Dora and they were going to the "Lost City" where all the lost toys go, and he turned to me and said, "Mommy!  Jack's blankie!" pointing at the TV.  :( :(  :(  Do I go out and buy him a new one?  Will he even want a different one?  Do we just let it go and consider this a good time to cut him off from his comfort item?  Last night he woke up multiple times just whimpering.  I think he was looking for his blankie.  

Sorry.  This is now a LONG post full of self-pity.  I don't mean to be so down about it all--it's just so frustrating; the airline called this morning and said now that it's been five days they are transferring our case to the AA Central Baggage Claim department in Dallas, and they are going to send us forms to fill out that we have to return within 30 days.  30 days!!  

I'm quickly losing hope.

To Tejas and Back

So Jack fell down an escalator today.

We arrived at the Dallas airport later than expected this morning and the curbside gate agent was rushing us upstairs to see if they could still get us on the flight back to Chicago.  As he hurried up the escalator with our suitcase, I followed behind with Samantha in her car seat and two carry-on bags in my arms.  Eric put Jack onto the escalator and then turned back to get Ellie in the stroller (with Jack's car seat atop it), not realizing that Jack would totally freak out.  He lost his balance and was reaching out for anything to steady himself--unfortunately I was too far away to grab his hand and was fearful of setting Samantha down in her car seat on the escalator steps, as we were nearing the top, in order to run down to him.  So to my horror I watched poor Jack try to grab the wall, which as you know does not move with the escalator, and after fumbling for a few seconds he suddenly went toppling backwards, head-over-heels, down the stairs.  I screamed to Eric, who lunged forward to catch him, and in doing so he let go of the stroller, which then tipped over backwards with Ellie in it.  All I could see were her little feet dangling in the air as the stroller calmly continued its ascent...so scary.   By the time we got to the top of the escalator there was a crowd of people standing around (drawn by my frantic yelling, "Eric! Eric!" no doubt) and our hearts were pounding fiercely.  Both kids are fine, miraculously.  Jack managed to come out of it with only a scraped knee and a need to be held for much of the afternoon.  I am so thankful they were not hurt worse than those boo-boos.

Early last week we decided to head to Austin, TX for Eric's ten-year high school reunion that was planned for this weekend.  Originally we had planned for just Eric to go, until a generous donor (thanks, Dad) offered to help the rest of us accompany him.  We left our house on Friday around 2:30pm (Jack, as we pulled out of the driveway: "Okay, Mommy!  Hold on tight!")  and arrived in Dallas at 8:30 pm (after missing our original flight and having to pay $150 to be put on another flight all together), then had to pay $100 to upgrade our rental car because all the cars we tried were too small to fit three car seats!  Maddening.  We arrived in Waco after 1am at the home of our good friends, Rishi and Amanda.  We stayed up way too late talking, then Eric and I were up the remaining four hours of the night with our kids who were taking turns waking up and FREAKING OUT.  Bad, bad night. 

We spent Saturday morning with a bunch of friends in Waco, enjoying a delicious leisurely breakfast and watching our kids run around and play together.  We haven't been back to visit since before Jack was born so it was wonderful to see everyone again!  

After lunch we drove up to Austin to spend the afternoon with Eric's dad and Connie.  The kids enjoyed frolicking in the wading pool that Papa Marc bought for them (pictures to come) and chasing/being chased by Marc and Connie's new dog, Kiska.  Eric and Rishi went to their reunion in the evening while Amanda and I hung out with Marc and Connie (and my three kids slept in one room together--awesome!).  When Eric and Rishi returned well after midnight we had a hard time saying goodbye and ended up staying up way too late once again.

Sadly, we had to get up at 6:30 am this morning in order to make the three-hour drive to Dallas for our flight that left at 12:30.  We were of course running late and dragging like molasses, so we ended up getting to the airport too late to check our bags on our flight, so they had to be checked on the next flight to Chicago.  Then, to our surprise, Jack and I were flagged at security and endured a very thorough "check."  There I was, standing in this roped-off area, holding a fussy Samantha in my arms, trying to keep my kids from running all over, while they nit-picked through our diaper bags and stroller and car seats.  Then they conducted a pat down of both our bodies--can you picture a little three-year-old standing in the security section with his arms held out to the side while a security officer searches him for weapons?  He had this look on his face like, "What the heck?"  This held us back once again from getting to our scheduled flight, and upon arrival at the gate we were told that for some reason Jack and I had been taken off the flight and listed as stand-by, but the flight was full so we would have to take a later flight!  Fortunately they were also willing to bump Eric to the same flight at no extra cost.  We were able to feed the kids and ourselves without inhaling the food, so in the end it seemed to work out for the better.

Until we arrived in Chicago.  Without our bags.  Our bags that contained our toiletries, as we cannot bring these items in our carry-on bags any longer.  Our toiletries that contain such items as contacts and toothbrushes and deodorant...

Have I mentioned that Eric starts his new job tomorrow? (I know, I know, such a tease; but this is a topic that deserves it's own post, which I'm working on!)

Overall, it was a whirlwind trip but we enjoyed almost every moment and are so glad we made the tremendous effort.  The kids were beautiful on both flights, well-behaved and cheerful and patient.  We had been talking about our "trip" for a few days, so as we left home Jack was so excited and kept "oohing" out the window at various strange things as we drove to the airport.  When we arrived at the terminal he said, "Look Daddy, trip!"  He was thrilled to get to ride on an airplane; I packed little backpacks for each kid with some new traveling toys: coloring books and crayons, stickers (a BIG hit), snacks, and a toy airplane for Jack and a little stuffed puppy for Ellie.  Jack had his little American Airlines model plane in his hand most of the weekend.  Both times we landed he kept saying, "Go back up, Mommy!"  We also had the laptop along for the first time so they enjoyed a little Diego and Elmo on the flight as well.  We were a little disappointed because we were seated in the very last row for both flights, with a perfect view of the engine out the window.  I was mainly bummed for Jack's sake, not that he even knows what he's missing.  But as crazy as travel is with little munchkins, and with the exception of the escalator topple and missing luggage, we agreed that this was one of our most successful travel experiences with kids.  What a relief.

So good to see you all this weekend...Waco folks, Papa Marc and Connie, and those of you that Eric saw at the reunion who apparently read our blog and already knew all about our family.  (Creeps me out just a little.  Okay, a lot.)  Thank you for feeding us and housing us and being such gracious, thoughtful hostesses.  We are so glad we got to see you all!

Pictures are coming, when I get another minute.  (haha...so like, November?)  I must get to bed right now...

And then there were three

Don't try this at home...

Not Mom's idea, but when Dad put the real baby in the dolly stroller and the kids posed like this, it deserved a picture (after all, I AM a photo-holic). I'm just thankful Samantha didn't fall through the ripped stroller seat!