So life with three kids? GOOD LORD, it is the hardest thing I've ever done! Hence the month of silence on our blog. This is one of the first times I've been able to sit down, baby-free, to type anything of substance. (Although considering my present lack of sleep, substance is not something I'm really going for here...)
I've had a running list of blog entries going on in my head for weeks now, including a rant about the Great Ant Invasion of '08 currently going on in my kitchen, a huge list of all the reasons I hate the TV show Dancing with the Stars, another huge list of all the reasons the Lost finale was so TOTALLY AWESOME, a considerably lengthy (well it was lengthy when I wrote it in my head while nursing Samantha at 2 am) post on my biggest pet-peeves about bad drivers, and my latest thoughts on church, faith, and our recently-acquired pastor whom I have yet to meet but have heard is very tall.
Of course those are in addition to the entries on my labor and delivery of Samantha, updates on the kids and their reactions to their new sister, our two-week visit with Aunt Marika and Co., and pictures, pictures, and more pictures.
For now, the quick update. Samantha is healthy, beautiful, and quite tiny. At a doctor's appointment last week she was 8 lbs. 7 oz., only a pound over her birth weight (but still not even up to Jack's birth weight of 8 lbs. 11 oz.!); the doctors have been a bit concerned about the sluggish weight gain and so we'll see what they say this Friday at her one month check-up. Because she's on the small side she's been nursing much more frequently and sleeping a lot less than my other two which has been a hard adjustment for me. She's also a pokey eater so it takes FOREVER to get a full feeding in her. She's gone a few long stretches at night but generally still wakes up every two to three hours at night to eat. I am enjoying the new-baby sweetness that she exudes, despite being very, very exhausted much of the time; she generally smells divine and has the perfect size head for snuggling just under your chin--she's hard not to enjoy. She has dark hair and very dark gray eyes, with dark eyelashes as well. Her nose is small, as is her mouth. I am so thankful that she is so stinkin' cute because it helps to diminish my frustration at not getting longer stretches of sleep...or any breaks during the day--I often wear her around the house in the Baby Bjorn because she will only sleep on my person. But each day gets a little better. (Or so I keep trying to convince myself...)
Jack and Ellie have adjusted considerably well. It was a crazy first few weeks with lots of visitors and babysitters, then with my sister and Jonathan here and constant family play and interaction, then Eric returned to work and my sister and co. returned to Boston and it was just me and the kids... The first day was great; I only called Eric at work crying once that day. The rest of that week was hard, adjusting to the needs of three little ones, with the baby especially being so very needy and time-consuming.
I think Ellie took this the hardest as she was used to having someone around at all times to help or entertain her, and suddenly I was the only adult and wasn't able to appease her every whim, which she hasn't been very happy about (translation: has spent much time at my feet crying and screaming while I nurse Samantha).
But generally, they seem to love their new sister. Jack called her "Sister" or "Baby" at first, then for awhile he called her "Santa." Now it seems he's finally settled on"Santha." Ellie calls her "Bee-bee" or "Da-Da." (For the record, we are calling her "Samantha," with hopes of avoiding "Sam" but we are open to "Sammy.") Jack is very affectionate and will stop and touch her face and then smile and say, "Aw, so coooote!" (cute) He doesn't pay her too much attention on the whole, but loves to go with me to get her up, or to announce, "Santha wake up!" when he hears her start to cry on the monitor.
Ellie, on the other hand, is more than obsessed, if that's possible. She is so very interested in the baby that we have to protect Samantha at all times (i.e. can't put her down anywhere any time that Ellie is awake). Ellie is CONSTANTLY pointing out the baby's "no" (nose) and "eye" and pulling on her tiny fingers or ears or hair. She is very interested in nursing and wants to sit and watch and be very, very close to the baby and me as much as she possibly can. Although she has been told many times not to touch and has been spanked many times for disobeying, she simply cannot help herself from touching the baby while she's in her swing, or giving her a big push (it is a swing, after all)--it's a little scary. But she gives lots of kisses and hugs to "Bee-bee" and loves, loves, loves the rare occasions when I let her hold Samantha on her lap. Oh, does she love that.
Ellie was interested in dolls before but her interest has grown exponentially since Samantha was born. She loves to undress her dollies, but can't get the clothes back on which frustrates her very much and is the cause of many meltdowns. She also loves to put her dolls in the baby swing, infant car seat, and in her play stroller, and mimics much of what we do with the real baby. She wraps her baby dolls in Samantha's blankets, rocks them, bounces and pats them, tells them "Shh, shh, shh" like I do when I rock Samantha--so precious to watch.
I love my newest daughter to pieces, but am lagging behind on the energy side of things, understandably. I am realizing that life for now is boiled down to finding a balance between the very basic necessities of life, like rest, cleanliness, and keeping tummies full. When I am not tending to the needs of one or more children I am usually cleaning up a mess or putting laundry in the dryer or fixing food for someone (never myself!), and when I am not doing that then I am usually nursing or giving one or more child a bath or helping a child go potty, and when I am not doing that then I am usually folding laundry or doing dishes or unloading the dishwasher or sweeping the kitchen floor for the third time in a day.
This is what I do. This is all I do right now. We eat, we play, we make messes, we clean up from messes, we eat, we play a little more, make a few more messes, we hopefully clean up again from our messes, and we rest. (Well, some of us rest. Two of us have dates every two hours during the night so "rest" is a very relative term to us.) And often, this lovely cycle is all jumbled up; while one person is eating another one is playing, and then when that person is done eating they want to play and the other one then is resting. Then sometimes you have one or more persons eating AND making a mess at the same time (and these persons usually are not the ones who do the CLEANING) and so the craziness goes.
I am SO enjoying being done with pregnancy for now; I have a new kind of energy just being done with that type of body strain--I love being able to sit on the floor and play with Jack again, to chase and wrestle with the kids and hold them on my lap while reading to them, to bend over and pick things up without being in pain, to roll over in bed more easily, that kind of thing.
But my brain, well, it feels like mush most days. My speech is often slurred, my thought-process slowed, my reactions delayed, etc. Complete exhaustion. I am very much looking forward to getting more sleep one of these days!
I am also celebrating my recent "retirement" from any form of childcare! I am greatly looking forward to caring only for my own children and putting my time and attention and efforts into their lives and interests and needs--what a gift! Well, I kind of had to retire seeing as how with three children under three of my own and only two bedrooms for the five of us--I pretty much ran out of space for anyone else's children. But even though it was a forced retirement, I still consider it a gift to be able to just focus on my kids for this time.
With my retirement, however, comes inevitable financial strain and that brings us to Eric, who is in process of looking for a new job. The job we had been waiting on and hoping for fell through a few days before Samantha was born, so things have been difficult and confusing and hard for us this past month, trying to adjust to life with a newborn in the house, life with three kids, life with considerable financial stress, and trusting the Lord through it all as we try to make sense of where we are headed and what paths we are to take at this point. (We would appreciate prayer for wisdom and provision as you think of our family. Thank you!)
I am so thankful to have a husband who puts family first and seems to give his all both to us at home and in his work. He is so good with the kids and has been amazing to me this past month as I've been on the verge of meltdown many times. I know the Lord has purpose for this current walk of life, and I am trusting that He will open a new "chapter" soon. He has been faithful to us always; I know He will be faithful again.
Well, that's our update for now. (I know--can I really write a "quick" update? I don't think I have a quick descriptive bone in my body.) Hopefully I'll have another evening very soon that I can post some more recent pictures up of Samantha and the kids. (Thank you to all of you who have kindly asked me to get my act together and get pictures up already. Really. So kind.)
For now I must run--screaming child from other room signals that I am needed once again. (Screaming husband from other room signals that Lakers are not playing as well as he hoped.)
*Had a few more minutes--should be sleeping but want to get these up...you're welcome.
WEEKS ONE and TWO:
(I believe this is a few days after we came home from the hospital...I know I look awful but I loved this moment...holding my girls!)
The kids are a blur...but this is our life now: a blur!
From a photo shoot I did of Ellie and Mikaila a few weeks ago...more to come soon...
WEEKS THREE and FOUR:
Doesn't this totally freak you out? Ellie puts her doll in here all the time and I always do a double take, thinking I've left the REAL baby in the car seat.
(The last four are from just last night)
