New Territory...

Well, Jackson has officially figured out how to roll over! The funny thing is that each time he does it, it freaks him out! And the only problem is that he only does it (so far) while he's napping, so it wakes him up and then it is hard to get him to go back to sleep. It is not uncommon for him to wake up half way through his nap and fuss a little bit, but he usually goes back to sleep. When he fusses, however, he likes to kick with his little legs, which then changed to pulling up his legs so he's on his knees, which has now moved to going up on his toes so his little bottom is in the air. For while this would wake him up because he would teeter back and forth but couldn't topple over because his arms were in the way. But now (I've seen him do it a few times) he sucks his thumb and goes up on his toes...and over he goes! Then he starts flailing every limb that moves and screaming at the top of his lungs. I have tried to flip him back over on his tummy and rub his back, but he's so startled by it all that he just gets mad, and does it again!

This morning we were lying in bed, and we heard him start fussing around 5 am. Normally he would just fall back asleep, but we heard this little thump and then screaming, and sure enough...he had rolled over. As much as I'm partly annoyed that I have to get up at 5 am and partly sad that he's so upset...I also feel kind of giddy and have this incredible urge to clap my hands and say "Good boy!!"

I don't know why this is so fascinating to me; I think the teacher in me is so excited to see him learning new things and growing in "knowledge." I wonder what will happen if he can't stay on his tummy but keeps rolling over...I guess he will have to get used to sleeping on his back?? I have a feeling that we are going to have some rough naps/nights in the days ahead.

There's some saying about motherhood being a "balancing act"...and I already feel that beginning, even in little ways. There are the literal examples...talking on the phone, cooking, doing laundry, typing--really anything physical--with a baby in one arm. Balancing time between time with baby and time with spouse. Balancing sleep, wake, and feeding time. Some days it's hard for me to decide how to spend my day; I might really need to go out and run errands, but if he hasn't slept well, it is more important that he get a good nap, so I end up staying home, or running one errand in between naptimes...ugh.

Recently, I have taken him with me when I went out to visit with friends; it's a whole new experience when you spend your time balancing friendly conversation with baby attention--catching the spit up and drool, shushing the tears for fear of expulsion from the restaurant or coffee shop, feeding, entertaining, keeping little hands out of my food, trying to eat my food without spilling on me or him...it is quite a new experience for me!

It will be interesting to see how "sightseeing" goes in Europe with a baby who is not interested in anything but attention, milk, dry diapers, and sleep. Not to mention "balancing" all the baby luggage!

We are excited about our upcoming trip to Europe...although as the departure date nears and I ponder all of the baby stuff we will have to bring...I feel a little overwhelmed. Stroller, baby carrier, Pack N Play, carseat, pacifiers, toys, about a million diapers, outfits, hats, towel and bath stuff, burp cloths, bibs, wipes, diaper rash stuff and gas medicine...and I thought I was a heavy packer!! So much stuff for such a little body. I keep trying to figure out how to minimize our luggage...but I don't think there's much we can leave out at this point.

So many "new territories," so many unknowns. Some days it feels kind of scary, heading out into the great abyss of parenthood...but then I stop and look around, and I see all those who have gone before us, and those who are entering this new chapter alongside us, and those of you behind us, encouraging us along the way...and I feel stronger. I'm glad we're all in this together. l